PORCH SITTIN'

The heat and humidity are fading and fall is approaching.  And with more tolerable weather upon us, it’s time for some good ol' fashioned porch sittin’.  This is one of my favorite things to do.  To kick back in my old man rocking chair on the porch, with a book, or some tunes, and some coffee and watch the world go by.  You might wonder how can just sittin’ on the porch be so much fun.  Well, with the crazy cast of characters on my street, there is never a dull moment.  

Ellie and I settle in our places.  Me on my chair, and her in her little spaceship jungle gym.  The sun is out, the air is breezy, and we wait for the show to begin.  We hear a lawn mower start up.  It looks like Skippy is out mowing the lawn.  There is nothing better than to see him and his balding ponytail, his obscenely white beer belly in cut-off jean shorts, and his yellow crocs.  YELLOW CROCS!  What a treat, I tell Ellie.  It’s gonna be a good sit.  I can feel it.

We look to the left and here comes Captian Heavy Metal walking home from the corner store with his diet Pepsi and bag of chips.  He’s in full costume, too!  He wears aviator sunglasses, has highlights in his mullet, a faded Pantera tour shirt, jean shorts, and old school high tops.  Laces untied, which is a look I sport myself many times.  He enjoys listening to heavy metal while sitting in the dark with his black light on.  You see a purple glow from his window accompanied with the angelic sounds of Iron Maiden and Ratt.  But since he has a girlfriend now, the loud late night rock sessions are fewer, and he’s been playing things a little softer these days.  A few days ago I heard Van Halen’s Beautiful Girls blaring from his window.  Ahhh, to be in love. 

Next we see a kid walking down the street in his socks, holding his shoes in his hands.  Now those must be some extra fancy shoes if they are too nice for the sidewalk.  I wonder if they are his shoes?  Or someone else’s, maybe they are too small, or too big?  My guess is that this kid bought new shoes, but couldn’t decide if he liked them.  So he walks them over to his friend’s house to get his opinion before pulling the trigger.

Now the Professor zooms by on his Moped.  I call him the Professor because he looks like your stereotypical college professor.  He has grayish-white hair, ALWAYS has a pipe in his mouth, a beard, and he usually has a tweed jacket with leather elbow patches no matter what time of year.  What makes the Prof even more peculiar is that he has multiple colored Mopeds.  I’ve confirmed he has at least three; red, white, and gray.  I always see him on his way home about 3:30pm.  I’ve always been curious where he’s returning from.  Maybe one day I’ll find out.

I wonder if people notice me and Ellie on the porch.  Are we characters of the porch sittin’ scene on my street too?  I feel like we are just wallflowers that go undetected.  We are just silent observers.  And then I realize it’s 3:30 in the afternoon, I’m on the porch wearing my pajama pants and a Van Halen T-shirt I’ve had on for at least two days, surfing the net on a pink laptop, while blasting AC/DC... with a baby at my side...

We went inside.