NEW YEAR'S EVE: 2010

I was hoping to write something special today.  Something reflecting on the whole year and something positive in anticipation of 2011.  But I’ve been sick all week, since Christmas Day.  Every night I go to bed hoping I’ll wake up feeling better the next day, but in actuality I wake up feeling worse than I did the night before.  Aya is still recovering from her cold and Ellie now has a cold, too.  I had big plans to start the New Year fresh, a new beginning with a new attitude and a fresh mind-set.  But when you can’t breathe out of your nose and have a fever that won’t go away, it’s hard to stay positive. 

I feel bad for Aya.  She was off of work all week and it was supposed to be a nice week of family time and a nice break for the both of us.  We’d go to the museum as a family, she’d get some alone time to do whatever she wanted to do, and I’d get a break from changing diapers and feeding Ellie.  I got a break alright, but it’s hard to enjoy it when my head is pounding and my nose is so raw and red that I could be mistaken for W.C. Fields.  As for Aya, she hasn’t had a break at all taking care of both Ellie and me while she’s still recovering from being sick herself.  Here it is New Year’s Eve already.  It feels like spring outside, I have a headache, a stuffed up nose, and all I want to do is go to bed.  How lame is that.  And I’m not even hungry!  But tomorrow, for sure, I will wake up feeling better.  I know I will.  I have to.  I’m running out of symptoms to add to the pile.  And I’m not sure I can handle being hunched over the sink doing the NetiPot anymore.  Which, by the way, should have the name changed to the SnottyPot.  I’m not sure if it cleared anything up or just moved stuff around.  I was amazed that even after the amount of “debris” that came out of my nose, I still couldn’t breathe. 

Tomorrow will be my fresh start, my positive mind-set.  Ellie is going to spend New Year’s Day with Grandma and Gramps so Aya can get her break, and I can recuperate.  I’m not gonna let a little cold damper the beginning of my New Year. 

So, as I raise my mug of tea with honey and lemon, I wish myself, and all of you, a Happy and Healthy New Year! 

DOMESTIC SPECIALIST

With the year coming to an end, it was time to make a decision.  It had been on my mind for a while.  I was pretty sure what I wanted to do, what I thought felt right.  But I wasn’t sure it was going to work or if it made sense.  Our current situation was working really well for us.  For our family.  Aya really liked going off to work, and I liked staying at home taking care of Ellie.  And it turned out I was pretty good at it, too.  But would it make sense to keep this arrangement longer?  Well, after much thinking and debating, we ended up going with our gut feeling.  I’m happy to say that I’m officially changing my status from unemployed, to stay-at-home-dad/homemaker.

We’ve decided it’s better for our family for me to be the primary at-home caregiver.  Or homemaker as it’s called.  I had to update some paperwork the other day and next to “unemployed” it listed “homemaker.”  Ugh.  Seriously?  Is it 1951?  Homemaker is an awful term.  It makes it sound like I’m going to flutter through the house wearing my man apron all day fluffing pillow shams and arranging fresh cut flowers for the dining room table.  When I hear the term homemaker I start thinking about all the commercials for household products with the soccer mom spokeswomen.  I get overwhelmed with images of Mop n’ Shine, dishpan hands, the quilted quicker-picker-upper, window cleaners, Scrubbing Bubbles, Palmolive, and Sunny D.  And then I think of the stereotypical TV moms:  June Cleaver, Carol Brady, Donna Reed, and Clair Huxtable.  I don’t fit in with this crowd!  If I’m not careful I’m going to be scolding my wife for leaving finger smudges on the windows, or for not putting her purse away.  I’m going to start saying things like, “Those don’t go in the dishwasher, those are hand wash only” or “That’s a dish towel, not a hand towel.” 

Needless to say, homemaker doesn’t really encompass what the job is.  Yes, there is cooking, yes there is cleaning, yes there is watching after the baby.  But ultimately, the homemaker has control.  Control of what we eat, what we purchase, what the baby eats, what the baby’s schedule is, and what she learns.  We make the rules.  I finally get it now.  You know those unwritten rules of the house that are just assumed.  I get to write those rules!  It’s kind of like I’m an owner of a small business and she’s the saleslady.  Since there are no employees to delegate to, I do everything.  And while I’m at the “office,” she is out making sales.  We need those sales to keep the business going.  And since we can’t afford another employee, or at least she isn’t old enough yet, I’m also the receptionist, the custodian, the office manager, and the accountant. 

So I was thinking homemaker needs a facelift.  It needs to be updated.  Since some find All Knowing and Powerful slightly condescending and a little stand-offish, I was thinking, Domestic Specialist.  It has a nice ring to it don’t you think?  Hi, my name is Matt, and I'm a Domestic Specialist.

Stay-At-Home Dad, At-Home Caregiver, Homemaker, Domestic Specialist: whatever you call it, Ellie’s gonna be stuck with me for a while.

FIRST CHRISTMAS

I didn’t know what to expect for Ellie’s first Christmas.   She’s not quite a year old yet, so I knew she wouldn’t be opening her own presents or really get what was going on.  But I was expecting her to be her normal excited self.  If she’s excited for a normal Monday, then why wouldn’t she flip out with excitement over Christmas with the site of packages, bows, and pretty paper?  But after her nap on Christmas Eve, she woke up with a fever and wasn’t quite herself.  Aya was getting over having a cold and now Ellie had one too.   Even so, I thought as soon as we got to my grandma’s she’d put her happy face on and still be excited.

We always meet at my grandma’s on Christmas Eve with my dad’s side of the family.  It’s a small crowd but a good crowd.  Some of my favorite Christmas memories from my childhood are from Christmas Eve.  When my brother and I were younger we’d bring our instruments and play for the family.  We would put on my grandpa’s old crazy winter hats and go caroling.  Yup, you heard it right, caroling.  My dad on trumpet, my brother on saxophone, me on drums, and my uncle would sing.  The four of us clowns would go play a few songs for my grandma’s neighbors in the freezing cold.  That was always exciting for me.  With the addition of my wife and sister-in-law to the family, we could have more members, and Ellie could even join!  She could play the tambourine.  Maybe next year… 

When we got to grandma’s, Ellie was just so subdued.  She just sat in my lap while we ate.  And then when we started to open her presents she got fussy and fell asleep in Aya’s arms.  I wasn’t so much bummed because she wasn’t into what was going on, but she wasn’t my smiley happy baby.  She was like a banjo player with broken strings.  I felt bad opening her presents for her while she was asleep and not feeling well. 

So Christmas morning came and I woke up with a sore throat and a fever.  Awesome.  That makes three of us sick.  Merry (cough cough) Christmas!  I definitely was not expecting this.  We couldn’t even sleep in because we had to make it over to my folks later that morning.  We still did our annual Christmas parade around the house though set to the tune of the Electric Light Parade Song from Disneyland, which Ellie loved.  Then we opened Ellie’s presents.  I have to say it was really weird signing Ellie’s present, “from: mom and dad.”  I kept thinking I was signing something for my parents, but oh yeah, we are mom and dad now.  She seemed excited and confused.  She looked at them for a few minutes and then went straight for her favorite “toy”, the drink coasters.  If I would’ve known, I could’ve saved some money.

The days of my brother and I running downstairs in our footie pajamas at my folks’ house are long gone.  And now that child-like excitement we used to have will be transferred to Ellie. She’ll be standing at the top of the stairs jumping up and down saying, “can I come downstairs yet!?”   As we get older and our families change, our traditions change, too.  In recent years, we’ve been having a tea time brunch on Christmas Day.  With bite size turkey sandwiches, homemade scones, lemon curd, fresh fruit, and of course, tea, it’s a nice change from the heavy Holiday staples of turkey, ham, and sausage and sauerkraut.  I think I like it better than Thanksgiving.  As for the presents, my brother has made it his mission in recent years to make it extremely difficult to open your gift.  He uses zip-ties, duct tape, wooden boxes, screws, etc.  At least this year he brought the tools necessary to open each present.  My gift was inside a box made out of drywall.  In retaliation, I gave him his gift frozen in a block of ice.  I think I may have antagonized him for next year.  Ellie was much more excited at the beginning of the day and went around banging on all the boxes and presents.  But as the day went on, both Ellie and I weren’t feeling the greatest.  After she opened a few of her presents, she had had enough and fell asleep on me. 

Although we were all sick, it was still a great Christmas.  A memorable one, that’s for sure.  This was not only Ellie’s first Christmas, but my parent’s first Christmas as grandparents.  I don’t think my parents spoiled her too much.  I think they spoiled her just the right amount, just as any grandparent would do.  Ellie really is very fortunate to have the family she has on both sides of the world.  We also had a package delivered from Aya’s parents from Japan for Ellie.  Aya was able to Skype with her parents in the morning, so Ellie was able to see her other grandparents too!  As for our tradition, our family of three, our evening ended with Chinese takeout, and a Steven Seagal movie circa 1985 on Netflix.  What better way to end Christmas?!   I thought to myself, even though Ellie won’t remember her first Christmas, I sure will. 

MERRY CHRISTMAS

He came! He came!

Freddie the Frozen Christmas Frog came!

I knew I was a good boy!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

KOKOMI'S KORNER: CHRISTMAS EVE

Ellie helping wrap presents...

COOKIE MONSTERS

I’ve been having trouble getting into the Christmas spirit this year.  I’m not sure why.  I’m usually a very jolly fellow around this time of year.  Usually starting the day after Thanksgiving I have the Christmas tunes going and am stapling lights to the house hoping to be the brightest house on the block.  But this year, I didn’t even put out a wreath.  I’m not sure what it is.  Maybe it’s because I’m not at work excited about getting a few days off, or maybe I’m nervous about what’s to come in the New Year.  I’m really not sure why, but I knew I had to make an effort to get into the spirit.  This is Ellie’s first Christmas and this is when we can start building our traditions.  I can’t be a Scrooge for this.  So I decided to do some holiday baking to get into the mood.

It seems everybody has been baking lately.  My mom made 25 dozen!  At least half of everybody’s Facebook statuses have been about baking or eating baked goods or wanting someone to bake.  So I thought I’d join the club.  But I wanted to make something different, something unique.  My dad loves zombies and everything zombie so I decided to make zombie gingerbread men.  What says, “Merry Christmas Dad,” better than a fresh batch of zombie gingerbread men?  And while I was at it, I’d make Christmas Witches, Holiday Skulls, Frosty’s Evil Twin, and last but not least, Freddie the Christmas Frog!  It was great.  I loved making sugar cookies.  I really didn’t care how they ended up tasting as long as they looked good. 

Mmmm… Brains… I mean Mmmm… Cookies…

Have a Merry Scary Christmas!



Mmmm... Brains... Zombie Gingerbread Men



Christmas Witches

Holiday Skulls

Frosty's Evil Twin, Vince

Freddie the Frozen Christmas Frog

A DUDE, A BABY, AND CHRISTMAS SHOPPING

Aya loves shopping.  Whether she buys anything or not, it doesn’t matter, she loves going out and browsing and shopping.  She loves an all-day shopping marathon that includes visiting a minimum of a thousand stores and stopping for her latte.  And after all that “shopping”, she might come home with nothing and still be happy.  I on the other hand, am not a huge fan, especially when we are out all day and I come home empty handed.  It seems like such a waste.  I’ll talk myself into buying things just to feel a sense of accomplishment.  And with me doing the bulk of Christmas shopping this year, I was trying not to get overwhelmed.  Not only was I going to one of the busiest malls a week before Christmas, but I was also bringing my baby. 

Ellie and I headed to the 12 Oaks Mall for a do or die final Christmas shopping extravaganza.  This was going to be the longest I had Ellie out by myself without a fresh boob around.  All of my excursions with her are timed around feedings times, diaper changes, and naps.  My goal is to never have to feed her the bottle while we are out, because she is kind of a bottle snob where she won’t drink it if it’s not warm enough.  Every time I get hot water at a restaurant to warm it up, it just doesn’t work and she pushes it away.  But with this trip, I knew I was going to have to bring a bottle.  

Since I was mentally prepared for this trip, I was feeling positive.  I really did want to enjoy this.  My day out with Ellie at the 12 Oaks Mall.  But when we arrived there were some obstacles for my good mood.  This mall is a good 45 minutes from my house and I had consumed a full travel mug of coffee during the drive.  So when we got there, I had to go!  I never realized this before but I don’t think I’ve ever used a mall restroom before, besides at the food court.  I think maybe because it's hidden.  It took me twenty minutes to find it.  I kept passing it because I was looking for a sign that said “restrooms.”  Little did I know they were hidden down secret hallways with armed guards.  I packed extra diapers and clothes for Ellie, but I didn’t think I need any for myself.  After I went, it was time to wrestle Ellie on one of those baby changing stations.  I’m a rookie with those things.  I’ve always changed her in my truck when we go out.  But with this being a long outing, I knew I was going to have to do it inside.  Changing her diaper was like mud wrestling a pig on a small operating table.  This was going to be a long day.

With round one of diaper changing accomplished I was ready to shop.  I wanted to go to the GAP, but this mall has only one store directory that they also keep hidden, so I had to roam the mall just to find it.  I was pushing a stroller and holding Ellie because she wanted to see the action.  I’m normally an excellent gift giver.  I usually have no problems deciding what to get people, but this year I couldn’t think straight.  I must have looked like an idiot walking through the mall with a puzzled look on my face holding a smiley baby.  Everything I saw was a possible contender as a gift.  Ooh, the EZ Cracker!  Blanket in a bag!  Towels, blenders, coffee pots, socks, sweaters, electric coffee cups, all were on-sale and all seemed like great ideas!  But I couldn’t decide, so I passed on it all.  The one good thing about walking around the mall holding a baby was that those kiosk salespeople avoided me like I had a disease.  You know those people that come up to you and try to get you to buy hair extensions, embroidered baseball hats, or rhinestone jewelry.  They are normally aggressive and pushy, especially around the holidays, but they wouldn’t even make eye contact with me.  One year, I was walking through the mall and this lady came up, grabbed my hand and started talking while polishing one of my nails.  I was stunned and the only thing I could think of was, who is this Korean lady and why is she holding my hand.  After her spiel, I looked down and one of my nails was sparkling shiny.  I thought it was the most amazing gadget and bought one.  It turned out it wasn’t that amazing because both Aya and my mom already had one and weren’t that excited about it.  But for the next two weeks I would look down at my one shiny nail and think, wow, so shiny.

I wanted to have lunch at a restaurant instead of the food court because I needed a bowl of hot water to heat up Ellie’s bottle.  I was hoping to beat the lunch rush, but since it took me another twenty minutes to find the place, we arrived right at the busiest time.  Being a dude with a baby does have its perks.  The hostess kept commenting on how cute Ellie was and kept flirting with us.  She was also very accommodating to me with the stroller.  I felt like I got extra attention because of Ellie and the stroller.  But then the waiter guy approached the table with a look on his face that said “aw man… I got the table with a dude and a baby.”  I asked for a bowl of hot water to heat up her bottle.  He brought back a coffee cup filled with hot water.  Needless to say, Ellie had snacks instead of her bottle. 

Since I was just wandering around, I really didn’t keep track of what we looked at or where we were, but all I knew was that I saw a Mrs. Field’s Cookies earlier and I wanted one.  We spent another twenty minutes looking for that place.  Then we wandered down the secret hallway for round two of diaper changing.  I eventually purchased some appropriate gifts when I walked through one of the department stores.  I could see the end.  Ellie was finally getting tired, as was my arm from holding her, so I decided to gather my final purchases and exit out. 

It turned out to be an almost all-day excursion by the time we got home.  It seemed Ellie had her mom’s shopping genes because she was all refreshed and happy as if she herself got the EZ Cracker.  But then again, I would probably feel the same way too if I was carried, changed, and repeatedly told how cute I was while shopping.  I on the other hand, was beat up, exhausted, and wanted to take a nap, but at least I could declare: mission accomplished... and I got my cookie.

FREDDIE THE FROZEN CHRISTMAS FROG

To help battle the cold dry winter air, my dad came over to help me install a whole house humidifier on the furnace.  Well exactly, I stood there and handed him tools.  I’m a pretty handy guy, but dealing with the furnace was out of my league, so I played the role of assistant.  As I was looking around the basement floor for a screw driver, I noticed something under the floor drain cover.  It honestly looked like a mound of poop.  Thinking this was odd, I took a closer look.  It was pretty poorly lit by the floor drain and I was about to take the cover off when I noticed this “mound” had a nose.  I jumped back as I wasn’t absolutely sure what this was.  It was only able to determine that this was not something, but someone. 

I stared at it from a safe distance and determined that it was a frog!  In the middle of December, in my basement, crawled up from the floor drain, was a flippin’ frog!  I figured this thing had to be dead.  It was December and he crawled up from the sewer.  Who knew how long he had been there.  I shined a flashlight on it just to make sure it was a frog and not something else… and it moved!  It was a frog alright, with his black, blank, beady eyes were staring up at me.  I’ve never considered myself afraid of frogs.  A frog is a frog.  Big deal, right?  I eat frog legs when I go to a Chinese buffet.  I should be able to handle this.  But then I realized that the frogs I liked were Kermit the Frog, the Warner Bros Frog, or the Muppet Mayor frog from Emmitt Otter’s Jug Band Christmas Special.  Not frogs like the frog from my basement that crawled up from the sewer!  It moved again and my dad and I both jumped back.  He was still safely contained under the floor drain cover, but he did crawl up from the sewer.  So who knew what this frog was capable of!  I moved my coffee cup and put some gloves on… just in case.  We decided to finish the humidifier installation before Operation Frog Bog began.  We put a paint can over the drain until we could decide what to do.  I could feel him looking at me and I didn’t like it.

The humidifier was installed and tested.  There was only one task left to do.  It was time for Operation Frog Bog.  We both put our gloves on, got a flashlight, and a bucket.  We pulled the paint can off the drain slowly.  We looked at each other, then back at the drain.  It didn’t seem like the frog was there.  We shined the light again and moved a little closer to the drain, both of us ready to move quickly in case we were ambushed.  My dad started to pry the drain cover off so we could look inside the hole.  I had the bucket ready in case we had ourselves a “jumper,” but still no frog.  It seemed like he went back down, back home.  Or did he escape?  This was a little unsettling.  So we flushed the drain with water to wash him back down.  We poured about two or three gallons down and waited.  We were almost ready to call Operation Frog Bog a success and then we saw a frog nose appear, and then his eyes.  He was back! 

We couldn’t just reach in and grab him because he was inside the drain pipe.  But what to do?  What would you do?  Would you leave the frog and hope he’d go back to the sewer and crawl up someone else’s basement, or would you remove it?  My dad looked over at the shop-vac, then at me.  “That ought to do it,” he said.  Where was the Kirby salesman now!?  “A vacuum so powerful it sucks up frogs!”  I couldn’t believe it.  Were we actually going to suck up a frog out of the drain?  Was this the only way?  I needed a minute to gather my thoughts.  To be okay with this… to devise a plan.  After deliberating on our alternatives for a while, we determined this was the best option… to suck it up. 

My dad was going to hold the vacuum hose, and I was going to flip the switch.  I turned the power on and with the hum of the vacuum going, we starred at the floor drain in silence…. waiting.  We looked at each other, at the drain, and then back at the vacuum.  We weren’t sure anything had happened and then SLURRRRP!  The hose jiggled!  And we jumped!  I turned the power off and my dad held his hand at the end of the hose.  We needed to verify the frog was indeed captured.  My heart was pounding, and I was nervously sweating.  I couldn’t help but think of the other times I’ve been in a situation like this.  Like the time I found a squirrel in my Uncle’s basement or the opossum in my parent’s garbage can.  And now this!  A frog in my vacuum cleaner!  I slowly opened the canister top and peered in.  It was dark inside and it was hard to get a good look without taking the whole top off.   I could see the shimmer of water at the bottom and some random debris, but that was it.  Then my dad shined the light in and as soon as I got a glimpse of his webbed foot, I slammed the top down.  We got him!  Now what?

What do you do with a frog in the middle of December?  It’s not like he’s going to frolic in the backyard with the other frogs and toads.  It’s December.  He is cold blooded though, so that means he likes the cold weather, right?  We took him outside hoping that maybe he’d make friends with the winter bunnies.  Or maybe he’d be a snow frog!  If he wasn’t, he sure is now.  And thus, the legend of Freddie the Frozen Christmas Frog was born.  Every Christmas Eve he comes up from your basement floor drain and leaves candy canes under the tree for all the good girls and boys. 

Ribbit ribbit my friend…  Ribbit ribbit.

Anybody want to go to the Chinese buffet? 

KOKOMI'S KORNER

ELLIE AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY

I don’t know what it is.  I don’t know how she does it.  And so I feel better about it, I take it as a compliment.

Ellie will be at my mom’s all day and poop maybe once.  On the weekend when Aya handles most of the diapers, Ellie will poop maybe once.  The rest of the week, all day every day, EVERY time I change her diaper, she has a fresh batch out of the oven waiting for me.  “I found the Golden Ticket.”  Lucky me… 

I’m starting to think she’s more comfortable around me.  She’s more relaxed and in-tune with her cycle when I’m around.  I’m a calming presence that lets her relax and be herself… and kick back with a magazine for twenty minutes and not be judged.  So although she may not squeal in excitement when she sees me, I do smell her excitement.

“Oh hey Dad! (grunt) I’m so glad (grunt) to see (grunt) you (grunnnt) again!”

A BAG OF CHIPS, A BURGER, AND A DONUT

I declared that I wanted a Day of Lazy. A day jam packed of doing a whole lot of nothing. I had it all planned out. I prepped the crockpot for dinner the night before so I wouldn’t need to cook. I purchased a bag of Lay’s BBQ chips while grocery shopping this week. I dropped Ellie off at my mom’s in the morning. I stopped at Dunkin’ Donuts for a sour cream donut, and at Burger King for a Whopper value meal on my way home. All I needed to do was go home and park myself on the couch and hang out with my best friend; NetFlix… and eat… and nap.

I haven’t had a dedicated lazy day in quite a while. The last time I sat on the couch all day and did nothing was when I was sick. Although it was nice to relax, it’s hard to fully enjoy it when you feel like someone is putting a power drill through your skull and your body feels like you’ve been severely beaten with a sack of door knobs. And since I’m not sick now, I’m especially excited about this. There is just something special about drifting off to sleep on the couch with a pile of potato chip crumbs on your shirt.

So I think I’ll start out with a donut, some coffee, and a few History Channel documentaries to get me started. Next I’ll tackle my burger while watching some movie I’m not super excited about because I’ll probably drift off to sleep. After I wake up I’ll start devouring the bag of chips and a movie I really want to see. Out of the 300+ items in my NetFlix instant streaming queue, I think I’ll find something that'll fit my mood. Maybe a foreign movie, maybe a coming-of-age tale, maybe a Steven Segal movie, or maybe a historic drama. The possibilities are endless. But one thing for sure is that there will be no dirty diapers, no cooking, no fixing bottles, no bribing a baby to take a nap, and no guilt. It’s going to be a good day.

You know, on second thought, I should get one more donut.

Because I deserve it.

SANTA and the WIENERMOBILE

I was getting kind of restless being at home and I knew if I didn’t get out, it was going to be a bad day for both me and Ellie. We hadn’t been to the Henry Ford museum in a while so I decided it was time to go back. I’ve been there many times, but I never get sick of it. I love the atmosphere of the museum. It reminds me of my childhood as I walk through looking at all the exhibits. From planes and trains, to historical artifacts like Lincoln’s chair or the Rosa Parks bus, it’s amazing to see American History displayed like that in all the different categories. Now that Ellie is walking, I thought the big open spaces and all the things to look at, big and small, would be entertaining for her.

The first thing we saw as we walked through the doors was the Oscar Meyer Wienermobile. And then I got hungry. Since I conveniently hadn’t eaten lunch, I decided to head over to the Oscar Meyer Wienermobile Café to get a chili dog. Of course I didn’t just order a regular dog, I got the footlong. Ellie was asleep in her stroller so I was able to leisurely enjoy my hot dog without distractions. Then I woke her up and we headed to the museum floor. First stop: the Wienermobile! Japan has a lot of crazy things to offer, but only America is home to the Wienermobile.

After admiring a car shaped like a hot dog, which I think Ellie thoroughly enjoyed, we started roaming through the museum. Ellie was rested from her nap and wanted to walk. She even took control of the stroller and started pushing it through the museum. She wasn’t too interested in the exhibits, but she sure enjoyed people watching. Like all the school children walking by on their field trip, or their teachers wearing those crazy holiday sweaters with the snowflakes and reindeer. With it being close to Christmas, the museum had a few photo booths with winter scene set-ups that you could take a family photo in front of. Someone approached me and asked if I wanted our picture taken… sure. I now have the world's most awkward Holiday photo of me and Ellie sitting on a sleigh with a painted snow scene behind us. I think we have our Christmas card photo now!

So after a few hours of walking all over and Ellie pushing the stroller and looking at cars and airplanes, I thought maybe we should pull the plug and head home, but a guy stopped us and said there was a very short line to see Santa. I hadn’t even thought about taking her to see Santa. But I figured why not? Right? Ellie is pretty sociable and I have a friend with a long beard. When she met him she didn’t cry, she just stared at him in awe. She was getting tired but if it was a short line I figured she’d be ok. And when she gets tired, she gets a little slap happy and is easily excitable and squeals. But she can also squeal in agony pretty easily when she gets that way, too. He said it was a short line, so I’m going to give it a try.

The guy was right, it was a short line. There were a group of kids in front of us and then Ellie. The kids were telling Santa what they wanted and got their pictures taken. As we are waiting, I started to notice that there were a bunch of old people hanging around watching these kids, too. I thought maybe they were these kid's grandparents. Nope. These people were next in line! And they spent a good twenty minutes with Santa! There were three couples and they took every picture imaginable with Santa. The couples, the whole group, just the women, just the men, etc. They were sitting on Santa’s lap, too! While they were doing their photoshoot for the December issue of the AARP Newsletter, Ellie was quickly going from tired to crazy. She was still crazy happy, but I knew it could take a bad turn at any time. Ellie walked right up to the Line Sherriff and made her pick her up. She started squealing and cackling with laughter as she played with her name badge. I kept looking at my watch and started to worry that the people in front of me were going to miss their dinner plans. It was almost 3:00pm! I wouldn’t want them to miss the early bird special. Since they were taking their sweet time, I figured these had to be Santa’s pals. Maybe after his shift he was going to join them at Denny’s for a late dinner at 4:00pm?

Finally, we got to see Santa. As I walked towards Santa with Ellie, the Line Sheriff was saying, “Ease into it, make sure you are between her and Santa at first so she gets used to seeing him.” At the same time, Santa was saying, “Put her right here, quick.” I’m thinking, wait, what? We need to ease in. Santa says again, “Put her right here and stand over there and take the picture. Move quickly. She’s gonna jump.” He wasn’t being rude or mean, it was just the exact opposite of what the Line Sheriff told me to do. As I was fumbling with my camera, Santa was talking through his teeth while smiling; “Take the picture, she’s gonna jump! Quick! Quick!” Ellie, who was just cackling with laughter with the Line Sheriff, was not as joyful about seeing Santa. Her smile quickly turned into a face saying, “Who!? What!? A Wienermobile, and now THIS!? I don’t care if this guy has flying reindeer, I want out!” Santa was right. He knows... he always knows...

My wife says building Christmas memories start with mom and dad. Even though Ellie won’t remember this trip, when she's older I wonder if she'll think of the Wienermobile whenever she sees Santa. That, or crave a chili dog. I know I will.

KOKOMI'S KORNER

WRESTLEMANIA

The recent trend with Ellie and the diaper changing event is that she won’t stay still.  She’ll lie still and quiet while I take the diaper off and wipe up her efforts, but after that, it’s like a pantsless cage match.  I keep mine on.  I think the cool air blowing through her crack makes her start bouncing around like Hulk Hogan.  “Oh yeaaah! Wait until you get into the ring with the Hulkster!”

We always start out on the changing table.  Maybe it’ll be a quick one, I think.  But sure enough, before I can get the new diaper on, she flips over and starts trying to jump off the table.  I try to hold her down but she just keep twisting and flipping like a fish out of water.  So I decide to bring her to the floor, maybe I can tackle her that way.  This for her is an invitation to wrestle.  She tries to flip over and I try to pin her down.  It’s amazing how a ten month old baby is stronger and quicker than I am.  She manages to escape and proceeds to crawl around the room commando and smiling.  She turns around occasionally and gives me a grin that says, “haha!  Try and get me now… You’re no match for me! HAHA!”  I chase her around the room like a farmer chasing a wild chicken.  I try to grab at her feet praying she doesn’t pee on the floor… again.  Finally, I catch her.  I’m able to pin her face down and try to put the diaper on this way.  But she pulls the old flip and kick move.  She’s free again.  She heads for the bookcase and grabs a book.  She seems distracted.  I come up behind her and get the diaper underneath her.  I pull her back towards me and wrap my legs around hers so she can’t kick.  I have one side snapped!  But somehow she wriggles free and escapes!  I need to distract her.  She loves eating her shoes so I put her on her back and give her the shoe.  While holding her down, I change her diaper as quickly as possible.  Yes!  Ding Ding!  Victory!

Now to get her clothes back on.

Round Two… Ding Ding