I'M MOVING!

It was going to happen sooner or later, and with the start of the New Year this was a perfect time. 

I'm moving to another website! 

Blogspot has done me well, but I now have my own domain name.  I'm still working out the final look and all, but "Phase One" is complete. All of my past posts are now up on the new site and all future posts will be available exclusively at:

www.thegoodthedadandthebaby.com

See you over at the new site!

KOKOMI'S KORNER

NEW YEAR'S EVE: 2010

I was hoping to write something special today.  Something reflecting on the whole year and something positive in anticipation of 2011.  But I’ve been sick all week, since Christmas Day.  Every night I go to bed hoping I’ll wake up feeling better the next day, but in actuality I wake up feeling worse than I did the night before.  Aya is still recovering from her cold and Ellie now has a cold, too.  I had big plans to start the New Year fresh, a new beginning with a new attitude and a fresh mind-set.  But when you can’t breathe out of your nose and have a fever that won’t go away, it’s hard to stay positive. 

I feel bad for Aya.  She was off of work all week and it was supposed to be a nice week of family time and a nice break for the both of us.  We’d go to the museum as a family, she’d get some alone time to do whatever she wanted to do, and I’d get a break from changing diapers and feeding Ellie.  I got a break alright, but it’s hard to enjoy it when my head is pounding and my nose is so raw and red that I could be mistaken for W.C. Fields.  As for Aya, she hasn’t had a break at all taking care of both Ellie and me while she’s still recovering from being sick herself.  Here it is New Year’s Eve already.  It feels like spring outside, I have a headache, a stuffed up nose, and all I want to do is go to bed.  How lame is that.  And I’m not even hungry!  But tomorrow, for sure, I will wake up feeling better.  I know I will.  I have to.  I’m running out of symptoms to add to the pile.  And I’m not sure I can handle being hunched over the sink doing the NetiPot anymore.  Which, by the way, should have the name changed to the SnottyPot.  I’m not sure if it cleared anything up or just moved stuff around.  I was amazed that even after the amount of “debris” that came out of my nose, I still couldn’t breathe. 

Tomorrow will be my fresh start, my positive mind-set.  Ellie is going to spend New Year’s Day with Grandma and Gramps so Aya can get her break, and I can recuperate.  I’m not gonna let a little cold damper the beginning of my New Year. 

So, as I raise my mug of tea with honey and lemon, I wish myself, and all of you, a Happy and Healthy New Year! 

DOMESTIC SPECIALIST

With the year coming to an end, it was time to make a decision.  It had been on my mind for a while.  I was pretty sure what I wanted to do, what I thought felt right.  But I wasn’t sure it was going to work or if it made sense.  Our current situation was working really well for us.  For our family.  Aya really liked going off to work, and I liked staying at home taking care of Ellie.  And it turned out I was pretty good at it, too.  But would it make sense to keep this arrangement longer?  Well, after much thinking and debating, we ended up going with our gut feeling.  I’m happy to say that I’m officially changing my status from unemployed, to stay-at-home-dad/homemaker.

We’ve decided it’s better for our family for me to be the primary at-home caregiver.  Or homemaker as it’s called.  I had to update some paperwork the other day and next to “unemployed” it listed “homemaker.”  Ugh.  Seriously?  Is it 1951?  Homemaker is an awful term.  It makes it sound like I’m going to flutter through the house wearing my man apron all day fluffing pillow shams and arranging fresh cut flowers for the dining room table.  When I hear the term homemaker I start thinking about all the commercials for household products with the soccer mom spokeswomen.  I get overwhelmed with images of Mop n’ Shine, dishpan hands, the quilted quicker-picker-upper, window cleaners, Scrubbing Bubbles, Palmolive, and Sunny D.  And then I think of the stereotypical TV moms:  June Cleaver, Carol Brady, Donna Reed, and Clair Huxtable.  I don’t fit in with this crowd!  If I’m not careful I’m going to be scolding my wife for leaving finger smudges on the windows, or for not putting her purse away.  I’m going to start saying things like, “Those don’t go in the dishwasher, those are hand wash only” or “That’s a dish towel, not a hand towel.” 

Needless to say, homemaker doesn’t really encompass what the job is.  Yes, there is cooking, yes there is cleaning, yes there is watching after the baby.  But ultimately, the homemaker has control.  Control of what we eat, what we purchase, what the baby eats, what the baby’s schedule is, and what she learns.  We make the rules.  I finally get it now.  You know those unwritten rules of the house that are just assumed.  I get to write those rules!  It’s kind of like I’m an owner of a small business and she’s the saleslady.  Since there are no employees to delegate to, I do everything.  And while I’m at the “office,” she is out making sales.  We need those sales to keep the business going.  And since we can’t afford another employee, or at least she isn’t old enough yet, I’m also the receptionist, the custodian, the office manager, and the accountant. 

So I was thinking homemaker needs a facelift.  It needs to be updated.  Since some find All Knowing and Powerful slightly condescending and a little stand-offish, I was thinking, Domestic Specialist.  It has a nice ring to it don’t you think?  Hi, my name is Matt, and I'm a Domestic Specialist.

Stay-At-Home Dad, At-Home Caregiver, Homemaker, Domestic Specialist: whatever you call it, Ellie’s gonna be stuck with me for a while.

FIRST CHRISTMAS

I didn’t know what to expect for Ellie’s first Christmas.   She’s not quite a year old yet, so I knew she wouldn’t be opening her own presents or really get what was going on.  But I was expecting her to be her normal excited self.  If she’s excited for a normal Monday, then why wouldn’t she flip out with excitement over Christmas with the site of packages, bows, and pretty paper?  But after her nap on Christmas Eve, she woke up with a fever and wasn’t quite herself.  Aya was getting over having a cold and now Ellie had one too.   Even so, I thought as soon as we got to my grandma’s she’d put her happy face on and still be excited.

We always meet at my grandma’s on Christmas Eve with my dad’s side of the family.  It’s a small crowd but a good crowd.  Some of my favorite Christmas memories from my childhood are from Christmas Eve.  When my brother and I were younger we’d bring our instruments and play for the family.  We would put on my grandpa’s old crazy winter hats and go caroling.  Yup, you heard it right, caroling.  My dad on trumpet, my brother on saxophone, me on drums, and my uncle would sing.  The four of us clowns would go play a few songs for my grandma’s neighbors in the freezing cold.  That was always exciting for me.  With the addition of my wife and sister-in-law to the family, we could have more members, and Ellie could even join!  She could play the tambourine.  Maybe next year… 

When we got to grandma’s, Ellie was just so subdued.  She just sat in my lap while we ate.  And then when we started to open her presents she got fussy and fell asleep in Aya’s arms.  I wasn’t so much bummed because she wasn’t into what was going on, but she wasn’t my smiley happy baby.  She was like a banjo player with broken strings.  I felt bad opening her presents for her while she was asleep and not feeling well. 

So Christmas morning came and I woke up with a sore throat and a fever.  Awesome.  That makes three of us sick.  Merry (cough cough) Christmas!  I definitely was not expecting this.  We couldn’t even sleep in because we had to make it over to my folks later that morning.  We still did our annual Christmas parade around the house though set to the tune of the Electric Light Parade Song from Disneyland, which Ellie loved.  Then we opened Ellie’s presents.  I have to say it was really weird signing Ellie’s present, “from: mom and dad.”  I kept thinking I was signing something for my parents, but oh yeah, we are mom and dad now.  She seemed excited and confused.  She looked at them for a few minutes and then went straight for her favorite “toy”, the drink coasters.  If I would’ve known, I could’ve saved some money.

The days of my brother and I running downstairs in our footie pajamas at my folks’ house are long gone.  And now that child-like excitement we used to have will be transferred to Ellie. She’ll be standing at the top of the stairs jumping up and down saying, “can I come downstairs yet!?”   As we get older and our families change, our traditions change, too.  In recent years, we’ve been having a tea time brunch on Christmas Day.  With bite size turkey sandwiches, homemade scones, lemon curd, fresh fruit, and of course, tea, it’s a nice change from the heavy Holiday staples of turkey, ham, and sausage and sauerkraut.  I think I like it better than Thanksgiving.  As for the presents, my brother has made it his mission in recent years to make it extremely difficult to open your gift.  He uses zip-ties, duct tape, wooden boxes, screws, etc.  At least this year he brought the tools necessary to open each present.  My gift was inside a box made out of drywall.  In retaliation, I gave him his gift frozen in a block of ice.  I think I may have antagonized him for next year.  Ellie was much more excited at the beginning of the day and went around banging on all the boxes and presents.  But as the day went on, both Ellie and I weren’t feeling the greatest.  After she opened a few of her presents, she had had enough and fell asleep on me. 

Although we were all sick, it was still a great Christmas.  A memorable one, that’s for sure.  This was not only Ellie’s first Christmas, but my parent’s first Christmas as grandparents.  I don’t think my parents spoiled her too much.  I think they spoiled her just the right amount, just as any grandparent would do.  Ellie really is very fortunate to have the family she has on both sides of the world.  We also had a package delivered from Aya’s parents from Japan for Ellie.  Aya was able to Skype with her parents in the morning, so Ellie was able to see her other grandparents too!  As for our tradition, our family of three, our evening ended with Chinese takeout, and a Steven Seagal movie circa 1985 on Netflix.  What better way to end Christmas?!   I thought to myself, even though Ellie won’t remember her first Christmas, I sure will. 

MERRY CHRISTMAS

He came! He came!

Freddie the Frozen Christmas Frog came!

I knew I was a good boy!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

KOKOMI'S KORNER: CHRISTMAS EVE

Ellie helping wrap presents...